I have always wanted to create artwork that communicates badly needed good ideas into the world. I want to share life-saving and world-changing ideas through my art. Quite frankly, this is what I've always wanted to do. Why can't I just say that?
The events of the current times calls for super human response from us,
The beauty of evolving as humans,
Beyond our passive feelings
To our empowered, proactive feelings.
Our feelings can be automatic
We can't choose to have and to feel
The healthiest, most forward-thinking feelings humanly possible,
The kind of feelings that make miracles possible.
Think for a moment of all of the qualities that you wish people had,
Think of what you wish you were seeing more of,
Courage, kindness, good deeds, the helpers, love, gratitude, forgiveness...
Focus on those who embody these qualities,
Embody these qualities yourself,
When all else fails, focus on what you are grateful for.
Thoughts can be proactive, courageous thoughts and feelings,
Courageousness itself can inspire others embody these.
Dare to be courageous! And forgiving and kind, etc.
Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and our ways of being all have a ripple effect throughout the world, throughout our communities,
Do you wish there were more Gandhis? more mother Teresas? More MLKs and more RFKs?
Then embody their values.
We all know who they are, and all the good they have done,
Bring them into your own world, your own communities, your own families,
through your own being.
It's up to each of us.
Today felt like my first day at my new job. Yesterday I gave Timothy the portrait of Millie that I painted for his birthday. He loved it so much he posted it on Facebook and I immediately got my first recent commission! So I spent most of today painting.
It was different, I've never spent that much time on art in one day. It felt really good and appropriate. Just right. I am pleased with how the new painting is coming along. I'm about 3/4 finished and it's looking good. It's a dog named Luna, who has already passed on. I'm doing my best to create a likeness that will be a comfort to her human.
I think I'm going to like my new job.
In the world right now I feel that it is vitally important to set aside our differences and let love flow. I set aside my expectations and attachments and allow the words to come through me. And the words that came through me just now were "let love flow". Sometimes the most meaningful and the most powerful words actually appear mundane at first sight.
Let love flow.
It really is amazing if you let yourself meditate deeply on it.
Love is so powerful.
As ordinary humans most of us have only experienced a fraction of how powerful love can be. It is so strong.
Love is the original, it was here before anything. It's at the very root of everything. Even evil has its roots in love. That's how we know that love is stronger. That's how we know that love will exist, always.
Eventually, everything will return to love.
It is our true home.
There is a thought that first occurred to me a few years ago, and that was about meditating on love and peace.
The idea is to imagine that there is no violence no hate no fear in the world, only love. Imagine what it would be like to live in a world like that! Anyway, the idea is to meditate with that thought. Go all the way into your feelings into what it would the world would be like.
I think and feel super good feelings when I try to go there myself. And I believe that even just one person meditating on this would do something to make the world a better place. Like butterfly wings! The ripples just go out into the world.
And so if two or three or more even, the more people that focus on this, even for 5 minutes the better an impact it would make. There would be a ripple effect through the world making it a little bit better each time.
There have been times that I have mentioned this to someone, I've actually mentioned it to several someone's, and their answer has always been "but that could never happen!", and just like that they dismiss the whole conversation. But that's not the point, the point is the exercise of doing this meditation.
In Schitt's Creek Dan Levy has created a world where there may be a little fear, but there is no hate and no harm ever done, no real harm anyway.
I still believe that it is ever so important to meditate on love and go deeply into the feeling of love.
Please join me in this endeavor!
I am sure that the Dalai Lama and all of his supporters are meditating on Peace. And that religious people of every description are too, meditating or praying for Peace on Earth, along with an endless number of unique not-so-religious people who are also visualizing or meditating on world Peace. So much of this is happening that all that stands in the way of this Peace is now coming forth in order to be seen and addressed and healed.
Remember "Love your enemies"? It is truly healthy to love our enemies. not to make fun of them. Even though they might appear ridiculous and easy targets for our sensibilities. Nothing good comes from it as we laugh at them. I wonder what kind of thought process would it take for us to see their lack of balance and poor mental health, and wish beautiful miraculous healing on them? What if such a thing was wished for? Prayed for? Visualized, affirmed or meditated upon?
This is how the Earth is to be healed. All this would take care of the whole itemized list of what's wrong with the world these days. So why not abandon our own hateful and judgmental attitudes and send out love and healing to each and every human being? No exceptions.
Let's talk about this blog.
I feel and have always felt the need to keep a blog whether people read it or not. I have actually tried a few times to begin one but it never quite took. It's an intuitive thing for me. Like breathing. So it feels good when I do it. I don't know what I would do if someone ever read it! I mean, I suppose that's destined to happen sooner or later. And I hope so. But deep down, I am an introvert. I like to keep my feelings to myself.
Why blog then? Why am I blogging? I honestly don't know. And that might be the best answer, or even just a really good healthy answer. I have been drawn to blogging. Like I've been drawn to creating art. Like a duck in water. I will say though, for my whole life up until the past several years, I have battled depression. Some of it severe. It has taken me a lifetime to figure out several things that were really helpful for me to know. Like that I have attention deficit disorder, and that I struggle with anemia. An iron supplement works wonders for me (Thank you Obamacare!)! Sometimes I wonder if I may be on the Asperger's spectrum. Anyway, much of my life I struggled with things that seemed very ordinary and simple. And I struggled to understand why such simple things were so hard for me. I believed that if I could understand why I am the way I am that I could somehow 'fix' myself or heal myself. And so, most of my adult years I have spent some time journaling, in a search to understand and heal myself and also to act as a sort of mentor or guide for when I do go into deep depressions, so that things won't be quite so hopeless. It's as if I were leaving bread crumbs for myself, so that if things ever get really badly depressed again, perhaps if I pick up one of my old journals I can lead myself out. Now it turns out that I have stacks of these journals that are filled with advice to myself. About how to climb myself out of the deep hole of depression. Surely such knowledge can be a helpful thing in the world. Or at least to someone. Perhaps one of these tiny nuggets of wisdom will be discovered by someone who needs it. It's interesting to me that now that there is a pandemic and most normal people are experiencing some degree of depression, I remain buoyant.
My wonderful husband Timothy asked me what I wanted for my birthday and usually I can't think of anything, but this time I thought of something I'd really really like. It sounds kind of odd for a present because it's not something you just run out and buy. What I would like this year more than anything is to have my studio space be redecorated and reorganized, nice and neat and tidy until it is an incredibly beautiful workspace that I can't wait to get into and start working everyday!
When I was at the Flow salon, I had the most beautiful space to work in. The walls, the furniture, the artwork, the little decorative touches here and there, made it all feel cozy and comfortable to be in. When I walked in the door every day I could feel my whole self go, "ahhh" (in the good way). Now I would like to create a space that feels that good again, only just for The purpose of creating art. I do have the space in my house, it's in a walkout basement. It has a great deal of potential. There are South facing windows and it is big enough to do fairly large paintings. The walls need a coat or two of paint. The windows need to have the trim added. My art supplies and finished paintings and drawings need to have organized, appropriate spaces. It's all doable stuff. That's what I want for my birthday.
Wish me good luck!
By the way,
How is an artist supposed to render the appearance of a flower out of paintbrush and paper?
Pen or paint?
And why do we aspire to do so - still?
Even now at this point in time,
Even at as it has been achieved by others, so many times,
With so much success?
Why do we continue to do this?
And why do we insist on doing this yet again?
I believe it is a practice.
A meditation, like breathing.
And it hurts no one and it makes me (the artist in this case) feel good when I get something right or even close to right.
It can be very satisfying, even when I get it wrong to think to myself, "here is where I went wrong this time, and now I look at it and I can understand, a way to have a more genuine result next time."
The world of nature speaks to us visually and artists aspire to share what it is saying.
Flowers have bloomed,
The same flowers mostly, for many hundreds if not thousands of generations,
And their message has not changed,
"I am here,
I have something to share,
the very being of my own uniqueness,
I have been saying it to each of your ancestors,
Some have stopped and listened,
Some have an understood,
What I have to say I say in playfulness and grace and Light,
You may see and feel it but you may not know it in words,
For there are no words for my message
Only a beingness that you and I share"
I try to capture the being of the flower,
In watercolor paint,
Brush and paper,
I try to capture it,
Successful or not,
I remain in awe.